This Season's Football top talking points

A new football season has started. This means its time again to make irritating comments at the weekends during match of the day to annoy my brother: "Why is that goal keeper wearing a hat?" "Whats with his hair?" "Why is that manager always chewing gum?" "Whats the offside rule again!" (jokes I of course know the offside rule perfectly). But anyway, Its always an exciting time for me. However, for most girls the start of a new season is a non-event. I am sure none of my friends could for example name a team promoted to the premier league this year or know which team Van Persie has just (regretfully) signed with. Its sad to be a girl and realise you have no-one to talk about football with. There is always more than just shots on targets, penalty decisions and player transfers to chat about in football so I've complied a list of this seasons top talking points (for girls).

1. Whose got the best team kit
This is always important. No-one wants to support a team with an ugly kit. This season for example why did Aston Villa think Toxic Green was the way to go for their away kit. I'm sure practically every team has tried it and no it still doesn't work. As far as home kits go one of the main mysteries in football is still yet to be solved: how to tell Aston Villa and West Ham United apart. Yes they both play in Maroon shirts with blue sleeves. No i can't see any difference either.

A big talking point is Man United's new home kit. They have gone for a checked red and, er, darker red shirt. Personallly I quite like it, the shades of red are honestly too similar for the check pattern to stand out too much but it adds a bit of interest to an otherwise boring shirt. Apparently it has been majorly critisied though for looking like a table cloth / tin of shortbread. (haha)

Arsenal have gone for something a little different with their away kit this year. Its sort of nice I've always though more teams should play in purple but the purple and black stripes do sort of look like something found on a 11 year old girl whose dressed up as a witch for halloween. The pink keeper is epic though. He's such a bright pink it makes your eyes kind of hurt... but in a good way. It seems that the kit had changed since this picture though, when they played this sunday the keeper was wearing yellow instead of pink. So Gutted.
Final mention to the Reading kit. The colour of the home kit is fine (blue and white). The real problem with this kit is the massive writing of the sponsor name across the chest. It meant that when I first saw Reading playing I was like "hey wait, since when did waitrose have a team..?".

Best home kit? Swansea white and gold is a classic especially just after the olympics
Best away kit? Everton away is pretty nice

Worst home kit?  Do QPR look like sailors?
Worst away kit? Aston Villa. for reasons stated above (i.e  toxic green is vomit)

Here is a link to more opinions about team kits:

2. Stupid Haircuts
Hairstyles are pretty important when it comes to my interest in football. If I don't know a player its because his hair is boring and I know I am getting too into football when I start noticing players have had their haircut in between matches.

Since when we watch football all the players on one team are obviously in the same kit the only easy way to tell them apart is by their hairstyle especially when they decide to get a stupid haircut (which luckily happens a lot). A good example of this is Everton's Marouane Fellaini. He's basically a big head of hair with football boots. For years he has been know to me simply as "that guy with the massive afro hair". Basically if Fellaini's playing - you know it. There are plenty more players who stand out due to their hair and its always fun trying to decide whose got the best/worst silly haircuts. Its important to keep your eyes pealed for any players with stupid hair, here are a few to look out for:

Apart from Fellaini, the next footballer who comes to mind when I'm thinking about silly hair is Mario Balotelli. He's always doing something stupid with his hair, I'm permanently on Mario Hair-watch. Anyone remember when he dyed his mohawk blonde during the European cup this summer? (see this article). Currently its not dyed but still it's a mohawk.  Similar to Balotelli is Djibril Cisse. (or the bad Cisse as my brother likes to call him - the good Cisse being Papiss Cisse who plays for Newcastle) I remember him from when he used to play for sunderland and kept colouring his mohawk like red and green and well all colours. Now he is playing for QPR, he recently dyed his hair white. I hope he does something fun soon... I'll be watching out. (the hairstyles of Cisse)

Another who stands out about a mile is Newcastle's  Fabricio Coloccini. He has hair that can rival Fellaini's. His problem though is that his is long enough to require tying back which he of course doesn't do (that would be laaaaame). This means when his stands still his hair falls pretty flat but when he moves his hair flies up surrounding his face like a lion mane. It sounds kinda cool, but looks ridiculous (while he's playing football anyway).

3. Whose the best looking Striker?
Strikers tend to be the stars of the team. They score all the goals so they get all the glory so they get more media coverage. Hence if non football fans are asked to name a footballer player chances are they are going to pick a striker. This makes strikers perfect for judging based on looks: people know who they are and they are already a bit arrogant for you don't feel so bad for slagging them off. There are some obvious ones like Wayne rooney: shreik looking ogre face. But there are plenty others to cause some debate

Top of the list:
Fernando Torres: I love Torres, yes he looks about 18 when he's actually about 28 but still,  it just means he has that sweet innocent thing going on. Only when he has blonde hair though. Without blonde hair he's just not as good (looking and as a player - its true.)
Robin Van Persie: probablly the best on the list he is good looking without looking overly arrogant. he has nice hair (neither too long nor too short) and although he does sometimes over-gel it so he looks a bit sonic the hedgehog - but who doesn't love a bit of sonic..
 Jermain Defoe: I think he looks pretty smooth

Bottom of the list:
 Wayne Rooney for obvious reasons (and as mentioned before)
Carlos Tevez: he likes to rock the classic thick footballer style by looking incredible stupid and gormless most of the time
Andy Carroll: his hair is stupid

4. Which player is going cheat on his wife/ get arrested/ generally cause a scandal next?

Ashley Cole cheating on Cheryl, John Terry Sleeping with someone else's girlfriend, Titus Bramble being accused of rape: footballers can be dickheads. But this makes it fun to gossip about them. In fact the only time when the football world tends to cross over into girl world is when a popstar or celebrity starts dating a footballer or gets married to a footballer or breaks up with a footballer or well you get the idea.

For example it was (sort of) well know that singer Alexandra Burke was dating spurs player Jermain Defoe earlier this year but broke up multiple times (according to the media anyway) when he cheated on her with various models/ random women. When I heard she was dating him I was surprised because I would have thought she'd have known better, especially since she was mentored on the x factor by Cheryl Cole who has been through the exact same thing with Chelsea player Ashley Cole. As far as scandals go I'm sure we will hear more from Ashley Cole and probably also John Terry (he's like never out of the news).

Another of my favorite picks for a scandal this season is QPRs Joey Barton. He's hilarious and completely ridiculous at the same time. He has a history of violence and prison sentences but is also entertaining on twitter. I remember when he played for Newcastle and was refused entry to the USA for a team tour due to him having assault charges or something. He got send off on the last day of last season and is currently serving a 12 match ban. However now he's moving to Marseille in France on loan so I hope we still get to hear about what he's been up to there. I will be reading his blog anyway: www.joeybarton.com. Everyone should read it, Joey is just awesome... haha.

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There are, of course, other important issues in football this season. For example is Theo Walcott going to leave Arsenal, which Manchester team is going to be the better, which manager will get fired first... etc. etc.  But these tend to require more football knowledge than just pointing and saying "whats with his hair". Maybe save these for the more advanced football fans, its always best to start with the superficial stuff.
I'll be trying my best to get my friends chatting about these important issues, or otherwise I will just carry on making my hilarious comments during match of the day. I mean I'll probably do that anyway.